Bryan Altman, CBS Local Sports
They say records are made to be broken, and in most cases that statement is true – especially in the world of professional sports. Various records in the NFL, MLB, NBA and NHL are often changing hands as athletes get bigger, faster and stronger. Then we have the other kind of records – the ones that don’t take professional level athleticism as much as they require a lot of time to commit to a somewhat menial task. Enter the Guinness Book of World Records, the keeper of the world’s most trivial, but often impressive, records.
Today is the 60th birthday of the Guinness Book of World Records, and much in the same way we put six candles in a cake for grandma when she turns 60, we’ll celebrate Guinness’ special day by looking at six incredible, unprecedented, and, realistically, unimportant records in the sports realm that have been set by our fellow Homo sapiens.
1. Most Half-Court Shots In A Minute – 10, Adam Beatrice (USA)
This record is shocking mainly because the record holder is a dude named Adam Beatrice, not a guy named Mike Miller or Steve Kerr or Ray Allen or the like. Sure, those guys probably didn’t put the time Beatrice did into developing a half-court shot, because, well, it’s just not practical if you actually want to be good at basketball, but kudos to Beatrice for his uncanny ability to shoot the lights out from half-court.
2. Longest marathon controlling a football (male) – 26 Hours, Dan Magness (United Kingdom)
To be clear, we’re talking soccer here, not American football. Dan Magness from the UK, controlled a football – meaning he juggled it/didn’t let it hit the ground for 26 hours. 26 hours. No sleep, no rest, just 26 hours of keeping a football in the air. That’s devotion, and skill.
Magness is something of a gimmicky football prodigy as well. Another record the he owns (or owned a few years ago) is the record for most “free style face rolls” with a soccer ball. And, if that term means nothing to you like it did to me when I first saw it, here’s the video of Magness setting the record.
3. Most Apples Crushed With A Bicep In One Minute – 10, Lindsay Lindberg (USA)
This is your classic “how many people have actually tried to crush an apple with their bicep, and how many could do it better if they actually tried?” Guinness record. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not taking anything away from Lindsay Lindberg and her apple crushing biceps, but I have to believe that John Cena could crush more than 10 apples in a minute with his bicep if for some reason he felt the need to do so. Maybe if a bunch of apples talked smack and hit him with a steel chair, he’d make it happen.
4. Most People Dribbling Basketballs At The Same Time – 7,556 (Gaza Strip, Palestine)
In 2010, the United Nations Relief and Works Agency (UNRWA) brought together exactly 7,556 kids to dribble basketballs and set a world record. As if that weren’t enough, the next week the organization put together another world record breaking effort and got over 15,000 kids to fly a kite simultaneously, smashing the old world record in the process. Pretty amazing stuff.
5. Furthest Golf Shot Caught In A Car – , 300 yards, David Coulthard (United Kingdom)
Pretty sure the title of the record should be “in a moving car,” because that’s what happened and I’m pretty sure this record would be infinitely less cool and impressive if some dude sitting in a car just caught a golf ball. Nevertheless, this is a pretty cool hybrid activity for racing and golf enthusiasts alike. Never have I said the following phrase with more seriousness – please, don’t try this at home.
6. Heaviest Weight Lifted By Human Beard – 139 pounds 16 ounces, Antanas Kontrimas (Lithuania)
I’m not sure that this is even considered “sports,” but this is too good to pass up talking about. My favorite part of this whole thing is that on Guinness’ website underneath the video of Kontrimas lifting this poor woman up with his facial hair, the caption reads “See a video of Antanas performing.” Performing? PERFORMING?!? That might be the Guinness World Record for most hyperbolic statement EVER. The guy is allowing a poor damsel to cling to his overgrown facial hair for dear life – that ain’t performing. Rant over.
Anyway, happy birthday Guinness. Thanks for all the weird stuff you get people to do in the name of a record that only they are trying to break.
Bryan Altman is, for some reason, an unabashed fan of the Rangers, Jets and Mets. If he absolutely had to pick a basketball team it would be the Knicks, but he’d gladly trade them for just one championship for either of his other three teams.